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Let’s Talk About “Selective Reduction”

The extent of my problem is that I’m over 40 and I don’t have a lot of time

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Moving Once Again Amidst Madness & Excitement

My husband asked me the other day if our lives would ever be sane. I reminded him of a promise I made when we married: marriage would never make our lives boring. What an understatement! Not all of our...

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All My Little Girl Dreams Are Coming True

This past week I celebrated my third wedding anniversary. Since I was sick and confined to bed, I had time to think about these last few years, how I got to where I am today, and how unlikely a journey...

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When My Sister Got Pregnant

Jennifer Gilmore’s new novel, The Mothers–about a couple’s journey through adoption–is out today! Check it out here. The call from my sister came in the afternoon. I remember the day: bright robin’s...

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After Years of Failed Fertility Treatments, A New Plan

We are adopting. If all goes well, within the next few weeks, I will get pregnant and about eight months later I will give birth. But that baby will be adopted. Mind-blowing, no? We’ve been trying to...

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A Surprising Antidote to My Infertility Frustration

I had been trying to get pregnant for a year. Twelve months of charting my body’s rhythms, of turning sex from an art into a science; twelve times allowing my hopes to soar and then scraping them (and...

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Genetic Testing of Embryos Raises Big Ethical Questions

A gut-wrenching story in the New York Times this week details the difficult decisions of Amanda Baxley who, immediately after discovering she was a carrier of a gene which leads to...

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When Your Friend is Pregnant, Sometimes it Hurts

“I’ve been reluctant to write this email and I keep putting it off.” When you are not able to get pregnant and you get an email with that as the opening line, you know exactly what is coming. “Even...

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10 Pros and Cons to Being an Older Mom

For a long time I was an anomaly among my friends. Most were married in their 20s and started their families then. I watched and waited as I went through my days of being single. I did some more...

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If Becoming a Mom Means Losing My Old Identity, I’m OK With That

I am Iliana’s mom. That is my identity, according to all of her friends. Am I OK with that? Hell, yeah! I have heard many times that you lose your identity after having a child, as no one calls you by...

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Coming Out of the Cancer Closet After 20 Years

A few years ago, my mom’s cousin passed away from ovarian cancer. While I live far away and could not attend the funeral or shiva, I wanted to do something and so I wrote a note to each of her …...

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